Ring Pullups x 15 / HSPU x 15 – 3x through.
Then:
AMRAP in 12:00:
7 Dumbbell Hang Cleans 50 lbs
7 Push Ups
250 Meter Row
Our streak of member-driven writing continues! Monique Rollin submitted this short gem last night:
I have finally started to really listen to the white noise hum in my head that has always forced me to give too much credence to my real or imagined failures and not enough to my attempts, my interim successes, and my accomplishments. I'm afraid that if I listen to it I will become the failure that I think I am.
There is nothing more frustrating than getting to the verge of success then shooting myself in the foot, and trust me – I'm a pretty good shot..
It began when the computer of me was being programmed at an early age, chubby girl, teased by the popular girls, last picked for dodgeball, laughed at because I was smart but not pretty, fat ugly, worthless – I called myself worse names than they ever could. That has always affected the way I think about success.
I read an article by Elizabeth Mika that said that the most creative and morally advanced people are typically not models of high self-esteem.
She says this insecurity is usually a sign of an active conscience at work. Moreover, the insecurity and the demons it feeds, are necessary elements of a creative temperament and we have plenty of evidence that without them no meaningful efforts can be undertaken.
Czeslaw Milosz, Polish poet and writer, and a Nobel laureate, who died last year, attested to this, when he confessed: “From early on writing for me has been a way to overcome my real or imagined worthlessness”. Imagine that.
There remains something positive to be said about not feeling too comfortable with oneself. Perhaps all great human endeavors have at their root feelings of inferiority.
I know the strengths I posses and exploit them at very opportunity, if only to drown out the noise that reminds me of my weaknesses. When I walk into the gym and face everyone else, there for their own reasons, their accomplishments staring me in the face, my successes are left at the door and the fear rises to the top. Weak, vulnerable? You better believe it. Without that driving uncomfortable flutter and the promise of screaming validation in my head I wonder where I would be? I am starting to hear a new song stuck in my head these days, it sounds a little like a strong secure woman who just pulled a 300 lb deadlift and didn't doubt herself for a second….catchy little tune.