Intramural Open Event #6: Fight Gone Bad

This is it: the last chance for your team to win the 2014 Catalyst Intramural Open!
Show up on Saturday. Finish all 17 minutes. Earn points for loudest team, most finishers, and top 3 scores!
We’ll start Fight Gone Bad at 8:30. We’ll start a new heat every 20 minutes, with 10 people per heat. The Varsity Gauntlet will roll between some of the heats.
Fight Gone Bad: How
1 minute at each station.  1 rep equals 1 point:
Box Jumps
Push Press with 75lbs
Sumo High Pull with 75lbs
Wall Ball
Rower (each calorie equals one point.)
Take one minute of rest, and repeat for 3 total rounds.  17 minutes of holding your gut to the flame.  17 minutes of pouring cold water on your character and looking for leaks.
Fight Gone Bad: Why
A few weeks ago, someone forwarded this email:
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body
thoroughly used up and totally worn out and screaming “woohoo what a
ride”! And that is why I did not workout today!!!!”

It’s a nice turn of prose, no doubt.  But it’s not reality.  In this-here “real world,” you’re far more likely to slip, sedated, into a dirty grave with only the clothes on your back and anecdotes of remorse.  You’ll probably have nothing to tell St. Pete that he hasn’t heard already.  If you’re in the majority, your death – maybe, even, your life – will be a long stretch of grey cliche, with some little blips of colour around your sixth birthday, your wedding toast, and your death-bed apology.
There are no PowerBall tickets when it comes to health, quality, happiness, or longevity.  The only last-second Hail Marys will be the ones whispered, on wine-fume breath, into your grey ears by the attending vicar.  There’s no luck.  There’s only work.
Right or wrong, sliding or simpering, you’ll have earned it.  And that should scare the hell out of you; it does me.  Will your end be so terrible that you’ll require the out-of-body displacement of morphine? Will you be alert, but tired?  Will you be celebrated?  When you’re ten years in the ground, will it matter?
These are the thoughts that pry me from bed at 4:30am.  These are the reasons I stumble through essays, and learn video editing, and dive headfirst into entrepreneurship, and would like to learn the guitar.  This is why I do CrossFit: It’s hard.  It’s work.  It’s not easy.  That’s the point.
It’s time to stand up and be counted.
Where you finished on the CrossFit Open Leaderboard doesn’t matter. But you won’t forget it, will you? That first double-under, or those hundred near-misses? That overweight aunt who posted, “You’re crazy!” on your facebook wall? The anxiety, the pressure, the pain…and that you liked it? It’s part of your story now, and Fight Gone Bad is the page you have to finish before bed.
Saturday: 8:30am until we’re done. Show up early and get into a heat!