It's Resolution season. It's also a time for gatherings – workplaces, family…. and there's going to come a time when you're asked about that crazy CrossFit thing you're doing.
One of the toughest things about CrossFit is defining it. Ask any Affiliate owner: "what's your 'elevator pitch?'" What do you say to a stranger in 30 seconds that makes them want to push away a lifetime of hesitation and anxiety and just show up?
1. Start the conversation on the right foot.
– the right way –
Hey, want some candy? Yeah, it's all for you. Just get in the van….
– the wrong way –
Hey….want some gluten-free, no-corn-syrup, no-lactose vegetable lumps that I made myself? Yeah, they're kinda crumbly….oh, you don't? Um, okay, I guess…
2. Stick to the basics
– the right way –
Well, we do a lot of free weights, and some basic gymnastics stuff, and kettlebells, running, rowing…basically, we combine it all differently every day to make it more of a daily 'challenge.'
– the wrong way –
CrossFit is awesome, man! It just IS! It's, like, super rad! And sooooo hard! Bench press? No, we don't really do that….No, no 'chest day' at all….well, we train, like, movements, not muscles, and – no! You're wrong! That's wrong! I don't care what you read on T-Nation! Bad! You're all bad! P90X makes you a bad person! Give me back that Christmas present! And stop dating my sister!
3. Don't forget about eating!
– the right way –
Well, we eat a lot of protein, and healthy fats, and fruits and vegetables. Why don't we eat grains – even the 'whole grain' type? Well, I like the 'brothers' analogy: one brother puts you down, and makes you feel like garbage. He beats you up. He put that girl into a coma, once. He cut off that other guy's leg. He blinded that old guy. His brother, though, isn't as bad; sure, he does all that other stuff, but he sure gives a good enema.
– the wrong way –
Grains are bad. I read it on this guy – Mark? – yeah, his website. So it's true. You shouldn't be drinking that milk, eating that bread, buying that low-fat 'Nog, or wearing that tie. Yeah, THAT one. It sucks. I thought so last Christmas too.
4. Emphasize fun and community
– the right way –
When you join, you won't know anyone. But pretty soon, everyone's high-fiving you like you're old Army buddies, and you're cheering for them, too. Heck, people I had never met two years ago are now some of my closest friends, and it's all because of CrossFit….(adopt a starry-eyed, distant look here.)
– the wrong way –
Oh man, you've gotta see how far this guy Eric can puke! He can hit the ditch from the side door! And, and…you get a free hat if you puke on your first day! And this guy Mitch…he's awesome. You'll never be as good as him at anything. Hey, Tim! This guy thinks he can beat Mitch at 'Fran!' Go in there and try Fran. It will kill you, and….hey! Come back! You just WENT to the washroom a minute ago!….
5. Tell them how to get started
– the right way –
Yeah, we do this great program called 'OnRamp.' You learn how to do everything properly. If you're already good at something, you'll get better. Then you'll be totally ready for the workouts. You'll still want coaching – you can never learn too much – but at least you'll know the lifts. We have this great coach, Whitney. Go to this website and sign up as soon as you get home.
– the wrong way –
Come with me! We'll do this awesome workout called Filthy Fifty! And then, we'll do Fran! Oh, man…you'll be KILLED! You won't walk for days! Your kids will be born with sore abs! People will think you have rickets! Your mom will call you to tell you HER quads hurt! Oh, we'll take a picture of you when you're collapsed on the ground, and thousands of people will see it tomorrow! Awesome! Hey, how come you're not answering anymore? Is this headlock too tight?
6. Let them find their own way to CrossFit.
- the right way –
Look, you're an intelligent person, and CrossFit is a thinking man's workout. Go to this site. Check out the workouts. If you're intrigued, try one. Come with me sometime; they won't mind. I'll do it with you. Friday good?
- the wrong way –
Hey, you've gotta come. Seriously. I'll tell my sister to dump you if you don't, you wuss. I have serious doubts about your character already…hey! You know, I barely feel you punching me. Maybe if you ate better…..
Enjoy your holidays. When you go to your Monday group, bring a friend.